15 May 2008

Q is for Quitters

Yesterday was the most grueling training session at the gym EVER IN MY LIFE.

But I got through it! I survived the test of endurance! This experience with having a personal trainer is making me learn quite a bit about myself: something I never considered to be a part of the equation. And the more I think about it, the more I feel that I don't know myself very well anymore.

I'm one of those people that adapts easily to whatever situation or group I encounter. If I'm around a bunch of girls, I tend to act girly and showcase my girly side. If I'm around guys, I let my tomboy surface. At work, I'm professional, yet goofy to keep the office from getting too stuffy. With Boog, I am Mommy and we talk in words for two year olds, we play silly games and make each other laugh and I am constantly enforcing boundaries that need to be enforced. With my parents, I remain the fairly well-behaved girl that they've known forever. But with all these personas, who am I when I'm just with me and myself?

I'm figuring it out. My sense of self-worth is growing as my body gets stronger. I have a sense of pride in knowing that I did my best and pushed myself until I could go no further. My trainer Audrey is helping me realize just how far I am actually able to go if I just give it that extra push, or those last three reps, or those last ten seconds. Just groan a little louder and find that last ounce of energy somewhere deep inside yourself. I have started applying this "extra push" to other aspects of my life: my patience, my willpower, my approach to work, trying to think positive.

It's a work in progress, but hey, it's MY work in progress, and it feels really good to have a focused sense of personal direction again. And "quitting" is no longer in my vocabulary.

9 comments:

Michael C said...

I'm glad quitting is not to be found in your vocabulary (or, vocabulario, if you're bilingual, which I am not, which is why vocabulario is probably nowhere near the correct translation).

This post makes it clear that you are way too good to even consider quitting! You are wearing a lot of hats these days and it's very apparent that you are wearing them all very well!!!!

Matt said...

Congrats on the self-actualization realization! I too think it is fantastic that you don't have the "Q" word in your vocabulary!

As corny as it is, (and I don't watch the show to begin with) but Oprah would say you had an "Ah ha" moment!

TroyBoy said...

Quitters really do get a bum rap. If you ask me - and you didn't, but when has that ever stopped me before - Quiting is the best option...for smokers. My mom, who is in her 70's and smoked since she was a teenager, has been a quitter for the last 18 months. I love me my quitters. :-)

Eva said...

Michael C: Thanks for the well wishes. I'm trying my best! Most of the time. ;)

Matt: Totally an "ah-ha" moment... Taaaaaaake Ooooonnnnnn Meeeeeee (sorry, that's some 80's one hit wonder humor)

troyboy: Yes, quitting is a great word when applying it in those terms. I quit smoking 6 years ago (yay, me!) after smoking for 15 years. Your mom has accomplished a MAJOR thing. Congrats to her! Make sure you tell her A LOT how proud you are of her. She'll love to hear it from her son.

Skeeter said...

Wow! You've accomplished quite a bit and the future looks bright ahead. It is all about the attitude that makes the effort happen. Everything comes from that. Well done!

Best wishes

TroyBoy said...

Oh and Matt - thanks for making me throw up a little bit in my mouth!

Michael C said...

Come on, show us 'r,' show us 'r.' Please????
;-)

sari said...

I'm glad to hear this!!

Matt said...

R is for ???
- Rabbits
- Rabies
- Road Runners