Yesterday was the most grueling training session at the gym EVER IN MY LIFE.
But I got through it! I survived the test of endurance! This experience with having a personal trainer is making me learn quite a bit about myself: something I never considered to be a part of the equation. And the more I think about it, the more I feel that I don't know myself very well anymore.
I'm one of those people that adapts easily to whatever situation or group I encounter. If I'm around a bunch of girls, I tend to act girly and showcase my girly side. If I'm around guys, I let my tomboy surface. At work, I'm professional, yet goofy to keep the office from getting too stuffy. With Boog, I am Mommy and we talk in words for two year olds, we play silly games and make each other laugh and I am constantly enforcing boundaries that need to be enforced. With my parents, I remain the fairly well-behaved girl that they've known forever. But with all these personas, who am I when I'm just with me and myself?
I'm figuring it out. My sense of self-worth is growing as my body gets stronger. I have a sense of pride in knowing that I did my best and pushed myself until I could go no further. My trainer Audrey is helping me realize just how far I am actually able to go if I just give it that extra push, or those last three reps, or those last ten seconds. Just groan a little louder and find that last ounce of energy somewhere deep inside yourself. I have started applying this "extra push" to other aspects of my life: my patience, my willpower, my approach to work, trying to think positive.
It's a work in progress, but hey, it's MY work in progress, and it feels really good to have a focused sense of personal direction again. And "quitting" is no longer in my vocabulary.
9 delurkers:
I'm glad quitting is not to be found in your vocabulary (or, vocabulario, if you're bilingual, which I am not, which is why vocabulario is probably nowhere near the correct translation).
This post makes it clear that you are way too good to even consider quitting! You are wearing a lot of hats these days and it's very apparent that you are wearing them all very well!!!!
Congrats on the self-actualization realization! I too think it is fantastic that you don't have the "Q" word in your vocabulary!
As corny as it is, (and I don't watch the show to begin with) but Oprah would say you had an "Ah ha" moment!
Quitters really do get a bum rap. If you ask me - and you didn't, but when has that ever stopped me before - Quiting is the best option...for smokers. My mom, who is in her 70's and smoked since she was a teenager, has been a quitter for the last 18 months. I love me my quitters. :-)
Michael C: Thanks for the well wishes. I'm trying my best! Most of the time. ;)
Matt: Totally an "ah-ha" moment... Taaaaaaake Ooooonnnnnn Meeeeeee (sorry, that's some 80's one hit wonder humor)
troyboy: Yes, quitting is a great word when applying it in those terms. I quit smoking 6 years ago (yay, me!) after smoking for 15 years. Your mom has accomplished a MAJOR thing. Congrats to her! Make sure you tell her A LOT how proud you are of her. She'll love to hear it from her son.
Wow! You've accomplished quite a bit and the future looks bright ahead. It is all about the attitude that makes the effort happen. Everything comes from that. Well done!
Best wishes
Oh and Matt - thanks for making me throw up a little bit in my mouth!
Come on, show us 'r,' show us 'r.' Please????
;-)
I'm glad to hear this!!
R is for ???
- Rabbits
- Rabies
- Road Runners
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