01 April 2008

A is for April

Okay, so check it out, check it out:

[that's me doing a Randy Jackson impersonation - - how did I do?]

For the zero of you who actually have been reading this for a year or more, you will recall that I joined a gym last year. I bought some sessions with a trainer, I psyched myself up for the long road to fitness and skinny jeans, and I was Excited. With a capital E. I was ready. I was tired of being a Fatty Fatterson and longed for the day when my body was in shape for cute dresses and high heels and sleeveless tops.

Fast forward to April 1, 2008. Behold! The new skinny Eva! NOT. That gym membership? Waste of money, basically. At least I wasn't hooked into a contract or some such nonsense. No, I tried to go, I did. I would get all dressed, and charge up the ole iPod, creating an upbeat playlist for hoppin' to on the treadmill. I would scoop up Mr. Boog and drive over there, drop Mr. Boog in the Kids Club playroom to be supervised while I entered the House of Fat-Burning Cardio, or began a session with my trainer, Troy. [Oh, by the way, a shout out to troyboy, who keeps BUGGING ME about my lack of posting]

Anyhoo. Five minutes into each and every visit to the gym, this is what happened: Along comes one of the girls who watches the kids, walking up to me with a sheepish look on her face. "Eva? I'm sorry to bother you, but Boog hasn't stopped crying since you left. We've tried to distract him, but he is inconsolable. You're going to have to come back and get him."

Poor separation anxiety Boog. I go to him and his face is soaked with tears and he sees me and just falls apart, arms outstretched. So we go home and agree to try again another time. And so we try again, and we go home after five minutes AGAIN, etc., etc., ad nauseam. So I gave up. I KNOW! Sad, right? So I canceled the membership and we took the jogger stroller route in the mornings. Half the time, Boog would whine or cry during most of the walk. Christ Almighty, could getting in shape BE any more difficult?

Last week, I mentioned to my boss that I was looking into some yoga classes. I also mentioned, on a different day, how much I love her clothes and how all of my clothes suck and I want new clothes and I wish I could burn all of my clothes. She says, "Okay, let's go shopping then! I'll take you shopping." This is how awesome my boss is. I said that would be so great! But I want to look good in new clothes, so I'll politely decline, but thank you. So the next day, when I told her about my idea of yoga or something to do just for me, she says, "I've been thinking about you and I'm afraid I would offend you, but I wanted to get you some sessions with a trainer if you're interested." Hells yeah, I am! So I found a gym a block from work, joined up, got me a trainer, and I work out on my lunch hour. No Boog complications necessary.

Problem solved.

So here is to April. And to Awesome Abs! And Astonishing Arms! And Arduous workouts! And the most problematic of A's: Eva's Ass.

Oh, and by the way, my trainer's name is Audrey.

This post was brought to you by the letter A.


TroyBoy said...

Yeah, she's back!

Because of your 'A'wesome-ist post, I will let the "bugging" remark slide.

I know that I missed your blogging for a reason; and it was really quite unfair, btw.

Sari gets us to come over by saying you're a great...read. And, you most certainly were...and then poof...just like my chances of "alone time" with the wife thanks to a toddler and 5 month old, you were gone.

Oh, and lastly, your impersonation of Randy? For me, for you, it was pretty good, dawg. I could sense your texture and all of your colors.

Matt said...

Eva's Back! An with another great blog entry. Eva that was hot....we got a hot one here!

Welcome back! And the best of luck on your road of fitness. I don't have a toddler to worry about at the gym, but I just don't like them. I joined one and went with friends a few times, but ended up cancelling, only to discover the College I work at has it's own faculty gym!

So now I try to go to the gym (no, I don't), and walk about an hour or so every day (yes, I do!)

Oh, and just remember, when you get to the post that is brought to you by the Letter C - C is for cauliflower, cucumber, carrots, etc...not cookies, because cookies are a sometimes food!

TroyBoy said...

Matt said: "I don't have a toddler to worry about at the gym, but I just don't like them."

You don't like toddlers, Matt?

Matt said...

NO...I mean that to be that I don't like gyms!

If I don't like toddlers, then I should win an Oscar...right?

Eva said...

Troyboy: Glad to be back, dawg. Sorry for letting you down. I'm already thinking about tonight's post for "B".

Matt: Hi! And thanks for the well wishes. You might want to curb the toddler-ist comments...if you don't like them, it's okay, just keep it to yourself. ;)

sasha said...

great post. you rock.

sari said...

A is for awesome!

Michael C said...

You used some of that cool language again ;-)